One Value of Memoirs

Just so we’re clear, I’m not usually a big fan of memoir writing. There are so many books out there and a lot of memoir writing is just some dude or lady talking about the mundanity of her or his life.

However, some have excellent writing (as Frank McCourt’s Angela’s Ashes or Mary Carr’s Liar’s Club are purported to have, though I haven’t been able to get into either—sometimes timing, though, is everything).

Other memoirs just tell a good story. Teaching Lolita in Tehran may be a good example of this. It’s about a woman who sought to introduce more critical thinking about human nature (or something) in a society that oppresses women. I could never get into that one either.

Here’s what Wikipedia says about memoir: A memoir (from French: mémoire: memoria, meaning memory or reminiscence) is a collection of memories that an individual writes about moments or events, both public or private, that took place in the subject’s life.

Memoirs are just real stories, but they have one particularly relevant value even for people who don’t traditionally like memoirs.

To illustrate part of my point before I state it, read this quote from a recent political rally (you may recognize it): “When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best. … They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people.” (CNN).

A different public official from San Diego publicly posted disparaging comments about Muslims with the hashtag “#SubhumanMonsters.” When confronted with this, he replied, “I’m trying to think of a different way, but what do you call people that treat women like second hand citizens, stone them to death, honor killings, etc, throw homosexuals from the roof… It is not hateful, it is the reality of how Islamic men are raised and they are not compatible with civil society.”

But it’s not just political negativity. Here’s a link to an article called “Five Really Good Reasons to Hate Millennials.” Yeah, someone really wrote that. Apparently, millennials are all not patriotic and news-worth enough. All of them. How dare they?

Noticing a pattern here? It has to do with NEGATIVITY and one of the most destructive human instincts: Stereotyping (and also maybe Fearing the Unknown and saying crap without thinking).

Now if you’re wondering what the hell this has to do with memoirs, remember that memoirs are true narratives and stories from real people. A good memoir has the power to help readers understand the complexities and struggles of a person’s life. This means memoirs can teach you what it is like to be someone else.

With memoirs, you can learn about the helplessness and despair that can be found inside addiction, the longing for parity and justice often found in experiences of Black Americans, the hopeless struggle of the rural American poor, the yearning for a spiritual connection to the land and ancestors of many Native Americans. You can experience the tension in families that seek to American-ize while still maintaining their cultures. You can know what it means to hate welfare and be dependent on it and the awful reality of Section 8 housing. All of these can be found in real memoirs.

Here’s another truth you’ve probably heard before: knowledge is power. But how can you turn that into quick weapons? When you meet people who don’t get you (or someone else) or are clearly missing some relevant knowledge, LEARN WHERE YOU CAN SEND THEM to get the understanding they need.

Look back over those crappy, negative quotes. Can anyone guess what color people Donald Trump talks to? Some people really do think he’s a smart businessman, and he may have had his moments. But he’s not Hispanic smart. He has no idea about the experience of Mexican people, or Hispanics, or immigrants in America. What about that guy from San Diego that thinks Muslims are subhuman? Put aside whatever you may feel and wonder about the fear that drives his language. Do you think he would have written that if he had ever read about the experience of a real Muslim?

So do some homework. Get some real weapons (I’m talking understanding here, not semi-automatics). Go find some good memoirs (including books, blogs, TV shows, and movies) and learn to understand other people.

MEMOIR CRAP, WHERE TO START:

Here’s a list of 17 Memoirs Everyone Should Read. This is great because it has Maya Angelou, one of humanity’s best creations ever, and because of Kristen Iversen (a former professor of mine who taught me a lot about running a magazine).

Here’s another page with 10 memoirs that read like a fiction (like a narrative story, I think). Most of these I haven’t read yet, but I loved Rebecca Skloot’s Henrietta Lacks. I will read anything Skloot writes. She is just quirky interesting.

Another link lists Eight Memoirs that Matter. The first one sounds intriguing to me because I have never heard of this story.

Don’t forget about the power of an effective Memoir-Blog. Here’s one blogger’s Blog list, AKA Blogroll.

Or check out the amazing Texan Blogess who writes about life and mental illness with humor, and check out the list of her favorite blogs over to the right. They are worth wasting exploration time.